Girl: but if i have a boyfriend, and i kiss a girl, does that really count as cheating?
Me: if i punch you in the face with my left fist, but i'm right-handed, does that really count as me punching you in the face
amidstthenoiseandthehaste: videohall: Ham Cat: error, does not compute “I think what’s happening here is an internal struggle between “get this thing off my face” and “keep this food near my mouth.”
danceanthems: “watching tv” aka leaving the show playing as i scroll through tumblr and only half pay attention
shavingryansprivates: ACCIDENTALLY STEPPING ON YOUR PET IS THE WORST THING EVER THEY TRUSTED YOU AND YOU STEPPED ON THEM AND THEY CAN’T EVEN UNDERSTAND YOUR APOLOGY BECAUSE THEY DON’T SPEAK ENGLISH
wtfml: ewitskristy: best video on tumblr ever. Bringing this back because I actually cried just thinking about it.
augustcasper: i read somewhere that if Barbie was a real person she would have to walk on all fours and THAT IS THE MOST TERRIFYING THING I HAVE EVER HEARD. IMAGINE BEING IN A DARK HALLWAY AND LOOKING OVER TO SEE BARBIE, CROUCHED AND NAKED, SCUTTLING TOWARDS YOU AT HIGH SPEED HOLY SHIT
pottednai: h0lyghost: okay this is the best cinnamon challenge video ever I want all my followers to see this
tlyudacris: miaism: campaign to stop putting raisins in food
jerry-seinfeld: tonight we are young so my laptop set my legs on fire my screen burns brighter than the sun
Oh and I forgot to ask my boss about the feed back I got after my promotion interview. Must remember to bug the shit outta her tomorrow.
Today I needed to clean my room clean the living room do my laundry print three things, I only accomplished only two thanks to Office Depot’s horrible customer service go to zumba meet up with my mom swim There was more on the list but I’ve forgotten and now I’m tired and just want to lay here till tomorrow night
sunniedoesstuff: I WANA BE THE VERY BERST LIEK NO ONE EVUR WERS TO CETCH THERM IS MY REEL TERST 2 TRERN DEM IS MY CEWRSE I WILL TEREVL ACROSS DA LERND SERCHING FER EN WERD EACH POGEMUN TO ERNDERSTERND DA POWR DATS INSEID PERKEMERN TIS U N ME I KNO IS MY DESTERNEY PUHGAYMAN OH UR MAI BERST FRERND IN A WURLD WE MUS DEFERND POHKUMOON A HERT SEW TREWR AWR COURERGE WIL...
hotbabysitter: A compilation of scene girls giving their Myspace ID as proof.
teacher: okay class, listen, get out a piece of lined paper, fold it length wise, put your name, date, and period in the upper right hand corner, title it "____ notes", and number 1 through 25 without skipping lines
student 1: how do we fold it
student 2: do we skip lines
student 3: can i have some paper bro
student 4: do we have to title it
student 5: what's the date
me: i'm going to kill all of you